Are you confused as to whether you are Supermom or Awesome Mom? Since there is no such thing as the former, you must be the latter.
Say it right now, aloud:
“I’m an Awesome Mom!”
Does that make you uncomfortable, or perhaps it doesn’t feel like the truth?
Let me clear it up for you. You are an Awesome Mom. How can I say that without knowing you?
Because you are reading this right now. That makes you the kind of mom who tries to find a better way for your beloved children. Regardless of how busy you are, or how overwhelming your life is, you are taking the time to seek solutions. That’s Awesome! And, so are you.
Don’t confuse being an Awesome Mom with being a Perfect Mom.
First of all, Perfect Mom doesn’t exist. Second of all, no one needs you to be perfect. Your family needs you to be Awesome, to always pursue the best situation for them, to continuously learn and grow yourself.
Say it right now, loud and proud:
“I don’t need to be perfect because I’m Awesome!”
Don’t confuse being an Awesome Mom with being a Supermom.
While we’re at it, let’s adjust a second popular, but ridiculous, belief. Our society conveys an inappropriate image of Mommy as Superwoman. Don’t confuse being an Awesome Mom with being Supermom.
Supermoms are supposed to single-handedly juggle jobs, families, and love, while tending to our own self-development and growth. In case you believe this fairytale, let me get rid of that pressure for you right now. That’s an impossible myth. Don’t buy into it. Don’t let other people seduce you into buying into it, and definitely don’t let them guilt you into it. It’s a fallacy. Supermoms don’t exist, either. Period.
I promise if you look closely at anyone who appears to be doing it all on her own, you’ll find “Supermom” actually has help…a husband, daycare, housekeeper, older siblings helping out younger siblings, relatives, secretary, a staff at work, a nanny, a virtual assistant, public transportation, food deliveries, restaurants, babysitters, dry cleaner, accountant, advisors, teachers, books, carpoolers…the list goes on and on.
Everybody needs help to juggle the responsibility of a family. There are only so many hours in a day, and some of them must be devoted to you, or you will be of no use to anyone else.
Shout it out it right now:
“Who needs Supermom? I’m Awesome Mom!”
Those Supermom illusions are really just Awesome Moms like you who have figured out how to maximize their Support Team.
My Closest Thing to Supermom Was Really An Awesome Mom
In my life, the woman who came closest to being Supermom was my mother-in-law (talk about feeling inadequate by comparison). She was absolutely Awesome! The woman gave birth to fifteen healthy children and raised them at their family-owned resort. She attended every sports event for each and every kid. There was dinner on the table every night, freshly laundered clothes, and conversation in the kitchen for anyone who cared to attend.
I, on the other hand, had one single baby, but I felt overwhelmed as if she was quintuplets. I also had two in-laws with new babies who seemed to be taking everything in stride. I just couldn’t seem to get myself organized outside of my classroom. Why was it that everyone else was Supermom, while I couldn’t decide on cloth or disposable diapers? And how in the world did my mother-in-law manage with more than one? Or, more than a dozen?
Because she was an Awesome Mom. She didn’t do it alone. She taught older siblings to help younger kids. Her husband taught them business skills. All of the girls cooked and cleaned, all of the boys kept the grounds and the buildings, and everyone helped at the resort events.
What also made her Awesome was how she reached out into the community to support her endeavors. She knew the teachers at the schools. She encouraged bible study sessions to be held at their place so her children could easily attend. Over the years, the children shadowed the various construction contractors and wedding planners who came in, studying how to handle the tricks and tools of their trades. She supervised everyone, and kept her family smoothly running until the last one grew up and moved out. By that time, she had graduated to being an Awesome Grandmother.
I wish I had known then that no one does it alone. Looking back, my trying to conceal I needed help was so ridiculous. Of course I needed help, and not just from my husband. It’s called taking advantage of the Support Team that already exists.
Remember, You Are An Awesome Mom. If you haven’t done so already, look around and see how you can shift some of your responsibilities to your Support Team.
**Please assist the parents in the reading audience by sharing a strategy you take advantage of to maintain your happy home. You never know when your comments might touch someone.
(An excerpt from Awesome Mom Communication Handbook: How To Keep Your Daughter From Slamming the Door by Deborah Ann Davis)