The First Kiss Moment?
The boy I had a mad crush on stood across from me, arms folded across his chest.
“We’ve been dating for a couple of months, and I think I should be able to kiss you,” he said, his tone somber, his demeanor grave, his brow drawn.
It was true. It had been a couple of months. After stalking him at the beginning of the school year, he had chosen to spend time with me. Me. Alone.
A Confusing Time
I’ve never been quite sure. I was fifteen years old, a year younger than this infinitely wonderful human being. Bespectacled and shy, I was the complete opposite of this charismatic captain-of-everything. I’m fairly certain he wasn’t dazzled by my Library Club presidency or my rapier wit, which never appeared when he did, but magically resurfaced when he left.
It was a very confusing and insecure time for me. Lack of experience stunted my understanding of how to interpret him or his actions. I didn’t see my own value as a person, so I didn’t understand why he would call me…but he did. At the end of every call, I wondered if he’d ever call again. When he’d drop me off after a date, the question was whether he would ever ask me out again.
On top of all that, my head was filled with my mother’s advice on such things as to how to deflect a pass while in the car. “Keep your hand on the door handle, and if he lunges at you, open the door slightly. The sudden overhead light will startle him.”
No worries, Mom. He never made a pass at me. Not once. It cemented my belief that he didn’t feel about me the way I felt about him. Apparently, we were just hanging out, not dating. No matter. I was grateful to be in his company in any capacity.
For those of you reading this and thinking, “That’s just pitiful,” actually it’s just typical, that is, typical teenage angst. We all forget how cool we are when bravely reaching past ourselves to bring another person into our lives. But, yes, we were dating.
And news flash: Boys don’t come with directions. There was no handy pamphlet to tell me his clammy hands were evidence of his own teen angst. I just thought they felt odd when we held hands. We were two kids trying to figure things out, and hoping not to get hurt.
So, there I am, standing across from him, confused. Was this
The First Kiss Moment?
I had kinda pictured this moment of intimacy differently. In the movies, pivotal moments such as The First Kiss Moment usually involved some sort of touching; you know, a cuddle, an arm draped over my shoulder, or at least hand-holding. They hardly ever involved scowling over folded arms.
Now I realize as dynamic and worldly as he appeared, dating a shy girl was new territory for this boy. He was at a loss as to how to close the gate. He just stood there, waiting for my response.
I stared back, my mind blank, feeling breathless. “Umm, okay.” That was the best I could come up with at this crucial moment.
He cupped my shoulders, and leaned towards me, closing the distance between us.
Panic welled up. This was The First Kiss Moment! I was totally unprepared. Do I close my eyes or leave them open? Do I hold my breath? Where should I put my hands? Do I—
His lips were softer than anything I had ever imagined. His breath was warm, and he was soooo close to me. My heart pounded. My ears thrummed.
—Am I doing this right? How long was a kiss supposed to last? Should I inhale? Or exhale? Should I—
Slowly, he raised his head and his beautiful brown eyes gazed into mine. “We’ll have to work on that,” he muttered to himself.
“What?” I pulled back, indignant and embarrassed.
I actually don’t remember what happened next, but I married him twelve years later, so it must’ve been something good. Real romance may not be in keeping with romance found in books, but it’s way more fun…in hindsight.
Fast Forward To Today
Our first twenty-eight years of marriage have been an adventure in growth, complete with pleasures and problems. The next twenty-eight will rival the earlier years because now we know what we’re doing. I’m lucky to have him…and he’s lucky to have me. Our relationship is well worth wading through all that angst.
As you can tell, I love starring in my own romance. How about you? Tell me about The First Kiss Moment you experienced, but be fair warned…anything you say or do might end up in my next book. My Love of Fairs series is all about surmounting teen angst while submerged in humorous suspenseful situations.