Acing the After-School Chat
I love it when someone asks me advice. For a parenting strategist with a blog named Merry Meddling, it’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.
An Awesome Mom’s Question
How do I get my kids to communicate openly?
Time to Merrily Meddle
Like I always say, Communication Is Key! However, not knowing how old your kids are, I’ll have to settle for giving you a one-size-fits-all generic “do” and a one-size-fits-all generic “don’t.”
Powerful Parenting Strategies:
The Generic Don’t: I recommend you skip that old conversation killer, “How was school today, dear?” It’s too easy to receive a one-word answer, like, “Fine.” Plus, over time, it sounds rote and insincere.
The Generic Do: Instead, generate a short, unique conversation every day. It’s easy… with a little prep. Prepare a bank of questions you can use any time.
- What was the funniest part of the day? The hardest? The best?
- What was your teacher wearing?
- How does the beginning of the school day compare to the end?
- What did they serve for lunch?
- How did you feel after eating?
- What do you think was the best part of your friend’s day?
- How comfortable was your outfit? Why?
- Who did you admire most today? Why?
- Did anything stress out your friend today?
Get some props, like:
- a magazine article related to a controversial topic in their lives
- a school related comic
- a photo from an earlier school year
Show them a prop, and try one of these Conversation Starters:
- Ask how their friend would react.
- Share how the kids you knew growing up would have reacted to it.
- How would their parents (teachers, grandparents, etc.) react?
- Ask how their BFF would handle it.
- What would their best friend’s mom think about it?
You can gain some real insights here. Just make sure you listen and don’t judge. Don’t approve or disapprove. Just listen. These developing people are entitled to their developing opinions (which for kids, can change daily).
Keep the conversation short and sweet (like me). Then go back about your business, leaving them to bask in the wake of a positive interaction with you.
Building a solid rapport begins with these seemingly insignificant conversations. The feeling of being able to speak in a safe space will really matter when the significant topics come up. You know… sex, drugs, and rock & roll. They’re coming, whether you’re ready for them, or not, so you might as well start laying the foundation now. You got this!
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I’m always looking for more content to share with you. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
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More soon. Wishing you and yours health and happiness,
Deborah Ann Davis
Parenting Strategist Extraordinaire
About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
The Secret to a Healthy Life: Laugh Every Day!
