The Elusive “Everything Else”
I love it when someone asks me advice. For a parenting strategist like me, who has a blog called Merry Meddling, it’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Awesome Mom’s Question:
My daughter wants to participate in an extracurricular activity that meets in the evening. It’s a great opportunity, but it’ll mean she’ll be occupied 6 out of 7 nights a week with all of her other obligations. Do you think that’s too much?
Time To Merrily Meddle
Yes, it’s too much. Let’s blow the Plenty-of-Time Myth out of the water.
The Plenty-of-Time Myth is like the parable about the frog* in hot water. As the story goes, if you place a frog in hot water, it will immediately jump out. However, if the little critter is in cold water, and the water is slowly heated up, it will eventually die because it won’t notice the gradual changes… just like we don’t notice our ridiculously heaped up plate.
Don’t allow your daughter to load up her schedule without including recovery time. We all need it, especially when participating in a new sports season. She’ll need extra time for sleep to help her get stronger and keep her academic brain sharp.
Believe me. I know. I’ve personally experienced the seduction of the Plenty-of-Time Myth, as far back as high school.
When I was a teen, at one point my grades were slipping, a classic sign that I was having difficulty fitting in The Elusive Everything-Else.** My parents’ solution?
I should drop the last thing I added to my plate, my adored dance class. Of course, that was an appropriate solution, but I wasn’t having it. So, I made a deal with them – I could keep everything… if I raised my grades.
Did I raise my grades? Absolutely, which served to mask my struggles as I juggled school with my dance class, an after-school job, Girl Scouts, cheerleading, the school play, and gymnastics. I figured out I had to keep my grades up so my folks wouldn’t be able to tell when I was having difficulty managing my life.
Unfortunately (fortunately?), I ended up with a back injury that forced me to drop gymnastics. And cheerleading. And dance. As my adolescent world fell apart, I couldn’t recognize the silver lining… that the situation had forced me into a calmer, less taxing and more focused existence.
Powerful Parenting Strategies:
Does that mean I learned to maintain a sane schedule? Nope. I took an overload of courses every college semester while juggling campus life. Then the Universe stepped in, interrupting college life with a car accident. When I finally resumed school, it was with a new focus and purpose, but in a more laid back manner as my body physically healed.
Does that mean I learned to maintain a sane schedule? Nope. By the time I was a mother-to-be, I had so many extracurriculars on my teacher plate that I didn’t have time to be pregnant (or for morning sickness). Once again, health sidelined me.
Does that mean I learned to maintain a sane schedule? Nope. By the time my illustrious daughter was school-age, she was taking ballet, gymnastics, soccer, band, and karate. I suddenly realized I was raising a Power Ranger! And, I had let her pile too much on her plate.
Yes, the Plenty-of-Time Myth is terribly seductive. It creeps up on you a little bit at a time. But, now, you are aware! It’s time to take a closer look the schedules of all your family members, and find out where your time-sucks are. Perhaps, for the wellbeing of your family, you’ll end up postponing something to a later date. You might even elect to let something go. It’s all about anticipating problems BEFORE they arise.
To pursue this topic in more depth, check out my course, Connecting with Kids in a Disconnected World. There you’ll find The Elusive “Everything Else” video lesson. By the time you finish, you’ll:
- Understand the Plenty-of-Time Myth
- Examine how YOU handle your time
- Make a plan to un-frazzle your holidays
Hopefully, my words of wisdom will get you to commit to not add new things to your schedule until you drop something first.
*No frogs were harmed in the making of this course (or at any other time).
**The video The Elusive “Everything Else” is from my upcoming course Connecting with Kids in a Disconnected World.
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I’m always looking for more content to share with you. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
More soon. Wishing you and yours health and happiness,
Deborah Ann Davis
Parenting Strategist Extraordinaire 😉
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About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
The Secret to a Healthy Life: Laugh Every Day!
