The Big Deal About Learning Styles
I love it when someone asks me advice. For a parenting strategist like me, who has a blog called Merry Meddling, it’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Regardless of which kind of Learning Style(s) dominates your child, all children listen and watch everything that’s going on. That means when you’re anxious, so are they.
An Awesome Mom’s Question
Dear Deborah,
I’ve been feeling kinda anxious about the way things are developing in the world. Sometimes my middle schooler asks me what’s wrong. I don’t want her to worry, so I say it’s nothing. I’m not sure how else to handle it.
Time to Merrily Meddle
When you’re anxious about something, like something you’re watching on the news, sure, your middle schooler isn’t tuned in. (S)he may only hear snippets from the talking head, but kids see the expression on our faces when we watch something upsetting (Covid, political unrest, etc.). They will notice your reaction to it.
Maybe something bad in the news is making you frown. Should they be worried, too? Or, perhaps you’re suddenly mad at them… but for what? Could they have forgotten to do something?
Cue the anxiety!
While their youthful perceptions alarm them, teens might not share it. As a result, that undetected anxiety level rockets when they ask you, “What’s wrong?” and you reply, “Nothing.”
They won’t believe you, not when your words contradict your body language, or you have an incongruent expression on your face. That changes the question to, “What am I missing here?”
Meanwhile, you’re sitting across the room, tuning out the news, the kids, and the dog, suddenly realizing that you’ve misplaced your car keys.
And, as if that wasn’t enough, as you may have already heard me say that kids, with their undeveloped adolescent brains, misinterpret facial expressions 50% of the time! So, it doesn’t matter what emotion your face displays, your kids only have a 50-50 chance of figuring it out.
But wait! There’s more!
Yes, it would be so much easier if all your kids were doing was drawing their own conclusions from watching you. But, it gets complicated because they’re also getting information from their friends, and their undeveloped frontal lobes, with their youthful interpretation of the life.
Talk to Your Kids!
That’s why it’s SO important to understand your kids’ Learning Styles.
You need to know how they’re taking in the world, so you can get those lines of communication open, and keep them open.
Conversation is the key to understanding, and understanding is the key to better relationships. My recommendation is that YOU broach a subject with them that will let their hidden concerns see the light of day.
Say something like…
“What have you heard about ___?”
“How do you feel about ___?”
“What does your friend think about ___?”
Then you can discuss things like…
- What’s going on in the news
- What they know about the pandemic
- Changes to household rules and/or consequences
- How YOU’LL handle school if the structure changes again
If you see your kids experiencing higher anxiety than normal, they may be worried about whether they’re safe… or, whether YOU’RE safe… or, whether their grandparents, or friends are safe.
Go ahead and have the conversation with them. It can be a short chat, or a long one as you go for a walk. Regardless, help bring their worries OUT INTO THE OPEN so your kids DEAL WITH THEM.
OPENING UP THOSE LINES OF COMMUNICATION will show your kids you understand and YOU HAVE THEIR BACK.
If your relationship is strained, your kids are waiting for you to fix things. Even if you don’t know what to do, you don’t have to wait until you’re sure of your strategy. Jump right in there and bumble around. It will register with your kids that you’re trying.
If your chosen approach falls flat, pick another one and try again. If it works, do it again!
You got this!
Happily,
Deborah
P.S. When I was producing my upcoming course, Connecting with Kids in a Disconnected World, I had sooo much material that it began to get top-heavy. My solution? Pluck some content out and use it to answer some parenting questions.
This advice came from my work In Module 5 – The Big Deal About Learning Styles.
If you’d like to find out more, click here.
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I’m always looking for more content to share with you. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
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When mama’s in a good place, everything else falls into place.
More soon. Wishing you and yours health and happiness,
Deborah Ann Davis
Parenting Strategist Extraordinaire
About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
The Secret to a Healthy Life: Laugh Every Day!
