Do you have an effective way to approach your child when he or she is upset? Or, do your loving attempts result in your cherub blowing up at you, triggering your own angry reaction?
Sometimes a parent approaches me with an issue that just happens to perfectly match an interview I’ve done. Such is the case for today’s question.
An Awesome Mom’s Question
My girlfriend and her daughter have been getting upset with each other a lot lately. I don’t know if it’s that mother-daughter thing, or not, but I haven’t had those kinds of fights with my son who’s the same age, so I don’t know what to tell her when she asks me what to do. Help!
Advice for Awesome Moms on Reducing Conflicts with Your Tweens and Teenagers
There are two kinds of Awesome Moms:
(1) Awesome Moms who squabble with their kids.
(2) Awesome Moms who don’t squabble with their kids… yet.
If your relationship with your cherub falls into the first group, my discussion with Penny Williams on the Parenting ADHD podcast has at least a dozen strategies you can employ today.
If you’re toodling along in category #2, this talk will help you plan your strategies for what’s coming down the pike.
So, sit back with your favorite hot drink, and a notepad, put your feet up, and have a listen.
Parenting ADHD with Penny Williams:
The Superpower of Choice with Deborah Ann Davis
“Choose to say, ‘I am lucky that this kid is blowing up right now. because otherwise, I may not have recognized the magnitude of what this conversation, or situation, is to them.’
– Deborah Ann Davis
Looking for something specific? Use the timestamps:
4:14 Communicating with Learning Styles
10:54 The Superpower of Choice
17:40 Recognizing and Responding to Your Kid’s Emotions
29:33 Modeling “The Superpower of Choice”
-Deborah Ann Davis
Reframe Your Perspective
People don’t plan to fail. They fail to plan. With any habit that you want to convert to a lifestyle change, you need to plan out the path to your success.
As was stated in the podcast, your first step is a mental mind-shift, a conscience choice to reframe your perspective. Instead of believing your child is giving you a hard time, choose to realize that your child is having a hard time.
Arguments… Fights… Meltdowns…
These are all red flags that indicate your child needs to be rescued by you. It’s all about perspective!
Whether your relationship is easy or hard, the more you communicate with your kids, the better communicators they will be as grownups. That means they’ll be better equipped to handle the outside world as adults, and truthfully, isn’t that what we wish for them?
You definitely got this, Mama!
Have fun with your kids today!
The philosophy of this advice applies to any child, from Kindergarten to College, not just 11 year-olds going on 19, or 19 year olds going on 11. The more positive and productive conversations you share, the more likely your teen will come to you when something important hangs in the balance.
For even more Parenting Strategies, sign up for my monthly newsletter, Merry Meddling.
PS You can also find a lot more in-depth information on this topic in my book, How To Keep Your Daughter From Slamming the Door.
About the Author
Are you overwhelmed or frustrated with your role as a parent? Deborah Ann Davis (B.S. in Science Education, M.Ed. in Supervision, and W.I.T.S Personal Trainer Certified) is a parenting coach and strategist who works with individuals and organizations.
An animated speaker, Deborah inspires, enlightens, and energizes her audiences with actionable strategies which can be implemented immediately. Schedule a conversation with Deborah today!
Whether you’re looking to bring more positivity into your group, or you’re ready to up the strategies in your Parenting Toolkit, she’s eager to help you put happiness back into parenting.
Learn how to improve your mother-daughter relationship today. Every minute you delay prolongs the isolation your child feels while disconnected from you. She’s waiting for you to figure it out, so why not skip the “trial and error” route?
Don’t forget to book your Free Chat with Deborah today!