Should I Check Up on My Kids at School? Advice to an Awesome Mom
I love it when someone asks me for advice. For a parenting strategist with a blog named Merry Meddling, it’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Awesome Mom’s Question: Should I or shouldn’t I contact the school (teachers, coaches, etc.) to check up on my kids?
Time To Merrily Meddle:
As our kids get older, we want them to learn to take responsibility for themselves. Eventually, we want them prepared to live on their own, but meanwhile, we have to figure out when to intervene, and when to let go.
Powerful Parenting Strategies:
As a former high school and middle school teacher, I can say, without hesitation, absolutely, positively you should stay in touch with the school. In your quest to increase your kids’ independence, do not sit on the sidelines with this one.
You cannot depend on teens, with their undeveloped teen brains, to always consider the big picture, i.e., what they do today affects the choices available to them after graduation. Your communication with the school can reveal issues that need to be addressed before they become real problems.
You don’t know what you don’t know, yet the professionals at the school do. Make it your business to contact them monthly, even if everything appears to be going smoothly. Don’t depend on guidance counselors (who are assigned way too many students to know all their names) to contact you about SAT dates, or when FAFSA forms are due, or whether college essays have been written, or when is the best time to tour colleges. And, teachers usually don’t contact you if your student gets C’s or better, so don’t leave your child’s future to chance.
If your kids haven’t figured out the whole homework and grades thing by the end of the eighth-grade year, they will need you to act like training wheels until they can pedal by themselves. When they do figure it out, it’s fine to launch them, but don’t let them ride off completely on their own.
Because all kids are unique, some of them will need your subtle push all the way through high school graduation. Don’t worry. We call them late-bloomers because they hit their stride after high school. They’ll be fine.
Bonus: Kids who know their parents are checking up on them are more likely to take their responsibilities more seriously. Nipping problems in the bud with a few strategic emails to the school is way less stressful and time-consuming than waiting until a problem escalates. And, managing your stress is the best way to reduce theirs.
Should I, or shouldn’t I?
Yeah, you should.
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I’m always looking for more content to share with you. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
More soon. Wishing you health and happiness,
Deborah
Parenting Strategist Extraordinaire
Empowering the moms will empower the daughters as they lead by example. If you want some guidance in that department…
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About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
The Secret to a Healthy Life: Laugh Every Day!
