Parenting with S.M.A.R.T. Strategies
If you have high schoolers or middle schoolers, this would be a good time to take a look at how school ended last year. Evaluate and assess their progress, and make some Fresh Start Resolutions, at a time when nothing is hanging in the balance.
This is not the time or place to be judgmental (“You did good/bad”). This is the time to build a team with your kids, where you are on their side, examining the process, and facing the academic challenge together. It’s time to make SMART Goals for a Fresh Start.
- Tell your kids to envision June and how they want to feel going into final exams/report cards.
- Make two specific goals (see below) whose outcome can be measured. These goals must be realistic for the what’s-left-in-the-school-year time frame.
- Cook up an appropriate reward for achieving the goals.
- Schedule weekly check-ins to make sure they’re on track, creating short-term accountability with long-term benefits.
Now, it’s your turn. Share a goal with your teen you would like to achieve by June. That makes you accountable, too. Come up with an appropriate reward for your achievement.
Then create another reward the two of you can share when you both reach your goals. Teamwork Rocks!
S.M.A.R.T. Goals
S = Specific Goals
STRONG GOAL: “I will have a B or better in every class on the next report card.”
Weak Wish: “I want to get better grades.”
M = Measurable Goals
STRONG GOAL: “I want to do 20 full body pushups in good form by the end of six months.”
Weak Wish: “I want to get in shape by going to go to the gym.”
A = Accountable Goals
STRONG GOAL: “I will check-in with my teen weekly to examine my progress.”
Weak Wish: “I will set my goals privately so I won’t be embarrassed if I don’t reach them.”
R = Reminders for Goals
STRONG GOAL: “I’ll post reminders on my fridge and bathroom mirror.”
Weak Wish: “I’ll remember on my own because this is so important to me.”
T = Timely Goals
STRONG GOAL: “I want to lose five pounds a month between now and June by exercising four times a week and increasing my green veggies intake to four cups a day.”
Weak Wish: “I want to lose 50 pounds.”
Forget the Mommy Guilt
Schedule weekly check-ins with your teens for the next six weeks. Your kids will be accountable to you, and you will be accountable to your cherubs. It will give you a chance to measure and applaud your progress, plus, you’ll be modeling the behavior your wish for them.
If either of you fall short of your goal at a check-ins, FORGIVE YOURSELVES. You are still ahead of the game because, minimally, you’re thinking about the changes your goal will bring. Simply renew your goals, and continue on… no big deal. Brainstorm how to make your goal stick during this next week.
Falling short is a great teaching opportunity. When you adjust what you’re doing so you can more realistically reach your goal, you’ll be teaching your kids the power of continuing on regardless. Mistakes and setback, as negative as they may feel, are part of your journey toward your goal. They don’t destroy you, especially if you take the opportunity to learn from them. (What got me off track? What needs to be adjusted to reach my goal? How can I turn this to my advantage?)
Skip the guilt. It’s a complete waste of time, and the dreaded destroyer of energy (not to mention, it’s a terrible burden to model for your kids).
Going through this experience simultaneously puts you and your offspring on the same side as you attempt to create positive changes in your lives. Yes, working on your goals will be a time-consuming process, but it will be well worth it in the end. After all, we’re really looking at a lifestyle change here, aren’t we?
Now it’s your turn.
What S.M.A.R.T. Goal do you want to achieve for your fresh start?
About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
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