Who Has Had Mommy Guilt? (Besides Me?)

Do you experience Mommy Guilt? It’s so prevalent, I’d be surprised if you didn’t. Mine started when I discovered I was pregnant. I felt so guilty about not being 100% excited, even when my daughter was born. I was too scared about screwing up the life of a tiny helpless person wholly dependent upon me.

The Magical Mommy Moment

My first thought when the doctor lifted her over the sheets for me to see was, “Don’t let her drip on my glasses.” That wasn’t maternal at all! (More Mommy Guilt)

Plus, my body had failed me by requiring a C-section, which seemed like an obvious sign that I was on the wrong path. I was sure our relationship was permanently dented because I couldn’t bond with her immediately while they stitched me up. (Some more Mommy Guilt)

Then, I had to listen to her cry as they cleaned her up, dreading the moment they’d hand her to me. And what about when they’d eventually take her away? What if she looked like all the other babies, and I couldn’t recognize her? (Even more Mommy Guilt!)

Oh, I Was a Hot Mess!

In the middle of all that secret trauma and guilt, I noticed them carrying her towards me. I was too ashamed to say aloud, “Give her to her daddy,” who was clicking away with his camera. I knew it was my duty to take her.

They laid her on my chest, all red and squalling. I wanted to join in, but instinctively I spoke to her like she was scared kitten.

Did she stop crying and look me right in the eye? You bet she did! I didn’t even know newborn babies did that.

As our gazes locked, the rest of the world slipped away. I no longer noticed the doctors and their golf stories, or my husband and his camera. It was just me… and her.

So, I took advantage of that magical moment, and apologized for all the things I was going to do wrong in her life. Baby Davis (we didn’t even have a name for her yet) didn’t seem to mind, and promptly fell asleep.

That’s When I Became a Mom

That’s when I became a mom. I didn’t suddenly feel competent or capable of handling motherhood (even though I had had months to prepare for it). I didn’t know how to turn this little bundle into a happy, functioning adult, but despite all that Mommy Guilt churning inside me, I knew I was going to find a way, or die trying. (Spoiler Alert: We’re both still here, thriving and loving.)

Since then, not only have I learned to tame my Mommy Guilt, but also, now I teach other moms how to do the same. If you’d like to kick your Mommy Guilt to the curb, join me, and the other moms who are reclaiming their lives, at one of my Mothers Days live interactive virtual events. If you follow my system, spending one day with me will change your life!