How To Be a Better Mom During the Holidays
With the holiday season staring you in the face, how are your plans coming along? I mean, the ones for how you’re going to stay sane throughout? You know, those plans that entail supporting yourself during these trying times with Me Moments.
Wait… You haven’t made a self-care plan for yourself yet? Well, no time like the present! It’s never too late to decide to reclaim your life during the holidays.
Sure, we moms plan the meals (and how to repurpose leftovers), and the family visits, and the play dates, and the gift giving, but you need an additional plan for you, too. Otherwise, your self-care never happens until later… after Halloween… after Thanksgiving… after Hanukah… after Christmas… after the New Year… after … after you’re completely depleted and coming down with something.
You know, Mama, you can actively and purposefully decide to thrive during the holidays (instead of just surviving them like you did last year). It’s more than okay to take care of yourself first. That’s how you build up your resiliency. You deserve a healthier, happier you, and your family deserves a healthier, happier you.
There’s a multitude of ways to begin reclaiming your life, and protecting the awesome mom you are, especially when the holidays could become overwhelming. One of the simplest methods (and my personal favorite) is to quietly reconnect with yourself.
An Awesome Mom’s Question
Dear Deborah,
Do you have any mantras or ways of looking at a stressed life that would be helpful to parenting mothers who are trying to improve their mental health?
Advice for Awesome Moms on How to Reclaim Your Life
Do I have advice for stressed out moms who would like to improve their mental health? Do I ever! The solution is eight simple words:
LET GO OF THE THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL!
Think about it. Isn’t today’s news filled with more alarming stories about more scary viruses than ever? You can’t control that. So, it’s better to just go about your business, and keep washing your hands. (If you’re really worried, wear a mask.) But, you can’t control the progression of any global virus, so let it go.
Instead, focus your energy on ways to keep your family healthy by boosting their immune systems. When you worry about things you can’t possibly control, it makes your children anxious, whether they’re preschool or high school. For teenagers, your anxiety, on top of their own anxiety over snippets of info they get, is a double whammy. Teaching your daughters and sons to focus their energy on things they can control is better for everyone, including the parents. Making the decision to follow that path is, in truth, reclaiming your life.
Keeping Your Family Healthy
Here’s another thing within your parental control. Whether you vaccinate or not, eating a clean diet keeps your body ready to handle microbial invaders. However, when you consume sugars, refined carbs, artificial sweeteners, fast foods, snack foods, etc., your body’s resources are directed to repairing the damage they cause. Then, along comes a teeny tiny virus when your immune system is otherwise occupied, so it gets a chance to replicate inside you. Once there are enough of the little buggers, they gang up on you. That, awesome mom, is commonly referred to as “an illness.”
The solution? Forget the news. Let go of things you cannot control. Reclaim your life. Eat clean, wash your hands, and go outside to play. (Movement boosts your immune system.) Easy peasy, right?
Let It Go, Awesome Mom. Let It Go.
This advice goes for any negative over which you have no control. For example:
- You have loved ones in the hospital? You can’t control that. Let go of that worry by doing something constructive instead. Send them humorous get well cards and little gifts. Keep them in your prayers. (Doing something for others generates happy hormones in your body, and who can’t use a little extra happiness?)
- Does the upcoming election have you worried? Let it go. Do your part and vote. After that, it’s out of your hands, so let the rest of your political concerns go.
Ultimately, it’s always your choice, of course. You can choose to fret and worry about something you cannot control. Or, you can choose to let it go, and replace that worry with doing something that will affect them, and you, in a positive fashion.
(Which one should you choose? Feel better? Feel worse? Hmmm. Tough choice.)
What If You Don’t Let Go?
Some situations are just plain beyond your control. You can’t affect them in even the tiniest way, so why bother? Worrying about things you cannot control always creates a negative impact on your life. Besides, focusing on them:
- lowers the quality of your life
- reduces your empowerment
- raises your anxiety
- increases the anxiety in your family
However, letting go of things you can’t control will allow you to live in the present moment, where you can focus on the things you actually can control, like:
- your mood
- the quality of your life
- who/what you let affect you
That’s the way you reclaim your life.
As for mantras, here are two suggestions, one for every day, and one for stressful situations:
Daily Mantra:
I deeply and completely love and appreciate myself.
De-stressor Mantra:
And this, too, shall pass.
Precede both mantras with a deep cleansing breath or two, and follow both with a couple more deep cleansing breaths. Enjoy them. It all counts towards your Me Moments.
You got this, Mama!
Have fun with your kids today!
Happily,
Deborah
Hey Moms, Mamas and Mommies,
Don’t forget to take care of your health so no one else has to worry about you, especially during the holidays. For additional Parenting Strategies, sign up for my monthly newsletter, Merry Meddling.
You can also find a lot more in-depth information on this topic in my book, How To Keep Your Daughter From Slamming the Door.
About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
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