What does your To Do List look like for you today? Specifically, how far down the list is Maintain Good Mental Health?
Gee, Mom, did you forget to put it on your list?
Oh, wait. Maybe you missed the memo telling you that, not only should maintaining good mental health be on your To Do List, but it should be at the TOP.
Think about for a moment. How long do you think your kids will thrive if you don’t have Healthy Mental Health?
Wait now, don’t you go skipping down that Guilt Path. My Merry Meddling Blog is a Guilt-Free Zone. Your job here is to take a clear, objective look at the amount of time you devote to you, and to maintaining a healthy state of mind.
Well? Is it enough?
Could you use a little more?
An Awesome Mom’s Question
Dear Deborah,
What are things that can help me personally have good mental health, especially when things are tense between me and my kids? I’m worried because the holidays are coming up, and things just seem to be getting worse.
Advice for Awesome Moms Bracing for the Holidays
You are the glue that holds your family together. Any and all tension in the home will negatively impacted everyone, especially your kiddos. Unfortunately, no matter how much you try to hide your frantic holiday feelings, your tension becomes their tension.
The good news is once you recognize what’s happening, you can take proactive steps to bring yourself back to a state of greater emotional stability, and a healthier mental health. As you attain inner calm, your darlings will calm down, too.
Take care of you first! If you feel like your mental state is being compromised, GET HELP!
And, why not? Society considers additional training from sports coaches and academics tutors a privilege. Mentors and business coaches abound. Supervisors for on-the-job training (such as practicums and internships) is a business standard. But ironically, the idea of additional training for parenting illogically makes moms uneasy, partially due to the ways society tells them to suck it up and handle it on their own.
For some reason, the American society applauds the idea of overwhelmed moms struggling to do everything themselves, instead of embracing the “It Takes a Village” philosophy.
Think about it. Whenever you start a new job, it comes with some type of orientation, instructions, protocols, and most likely, an employee manual. Time off, vacation days and sick days are explained.
On the day you begin motherhood, it comes with… a baby. You are sent home with your baby, and a bunch of well-wishes. You’ve just begun a job that will last you a lifetime, but without the time off, vacation days or sick days.
And you’re supposed to figure it all out on your own? C’mon!
Create a Mom Support Team
I know from working with hundreds of moms, and from personal experience, that motherhood can be a very isolating experience. Why should you go it alone? We certainly wouldn’t expect anyone else to experience life alone, so why should mothers?
In case motherhood has got you feeling a bit emotionally depleted lately, don’t take it lying down. Get some support!
- Reach out to someone with more energy, and let it boost you.
- Hire someone to help with your life (housekeeper, cook, babysitter, tutor, etc.).
- Confide in a friend.
These people are part of your support team, so use them.
If your negative self-perceptions are becoming more pronounced, seek out a professional counselor for help. Meanwhile…
- Find library books for guidance.
- Write in a journal.
- Scream into a pillow.
- Go for a walk outside.
By the way, while you’re in the process of finding well-deserved help, guidance and support for yourself, you can get your body to produce its happy hormones on demand, even when you don’t feel happy. This may not solve your problems, but it will make you more resilient when you have to face them.
Here are a few ideas from How To Get Your Happy On
1. Get up and move. Even crossing the room will
- increase your blood flow
- get more oxygen to your brain
- generate happy hormones
- massage your organs
- and much more!
2. Put on happy music and watch happy shows, instead of watching the news and checking on the pandemic’s status. You can’t control them, so ignore them. Let go of things you can’t control.
3. Feel and show gratitude. You can start with the front-liners who strive to keep us safe, or…
- the children who write cheerful chalk messages on the sidewalks
- the households that post hearts in their windows
- the families that plant encouraging signs on their lawns
- the entire organic food industry that keeps us alive
- the postal service that keeps us connected
- the sanitation workers who keep our lives closer to normal
- the delivery services that keep our economy afloat.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Now, don’t you feel better? I certainly do! 😉
I guess that means it’s time to go share these strategies with your cherubs so they can benefit, too. For more ideas, pick up How To Get Your Happy On. Remember, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint.
You got this, Mothers!
Have fun with your kids today!
Happily,
Deborah
Hey Moms, Mamas and Mommies,
Don’t forget to take care of your health so no one else has to worry about you, especially during the holidays. For additional Parenting Strategies, sign up for my monthly newsletter, Merry Meddling.
You can also find a lot more in-depth information on this topic in my book, How To Keep Your Daughter From Slamming the Door.
About the Author
Hi There! And, Welcome!
I’m Deborah Ann Davis, and I’ve been at this for over three decades, first as a high school teacher, and now as a parenting strategist within The Awesome Mom Tribe. I’m into sharing tons of techniques that put you in touch with yourself, despite all that negative energy out there.
On a personal note, I’m all about bird-watching, rock-collecting, picture-taking and science-geeking. I have a wonderful husband and we have an incredible daughter (objectively speaking, of course). Basically, with all its ups and downs, I love my life!
The Secret to a Healthy Life: Laugh Every Day!
