Do you experience Mommy Guilt? It’s so prevalent, I’d be surprised if you didn’t. Mine started when I discovered I was pregnant. I felt so guilty about not being 100% excited, right up until my daughter was born. I was just too scared I’d screw up the life of that tiny, helpless person who was wholly dependent upon me… but it was too late to return her.
I harbored anticipatory anxiety from the moment I discovered I was with child, right up until the moment she was born. On top of that, I felt guilty that I even had the dread, instead of joy, coursing through my veins. And, then, she was born (after 5 days of labor).
The Magical Mommy Moment
My first thought when the doctor lifted her into view over the surgical sheets was, “Don’t let her drip on my glasses.” Well, that sure wasn’t very maternal. Not at all! (More Mommy Guilt)
Plus, my body ended up requiring a C-section — an obvious sign that making me into a mother was a mistake. Besides, how could I bond with her if I had to be stitched up? (Some more Mommy Guilt)
Then, I had to listen to her cry as they cleaned her up, knowing that at any moment, they’d hand her to me, and dreading it. And, what about when they’d eventually take her away, again? How was I supposed to recognize her when all babies looked alike? (Even more Mommy Guilt!)
Oh, I Was a Hot Mommy Mess!
In the midst of all that secret guilt and trauma, I suddenly realized they were carrying a crying blanket toward me. As much as I wanted to, I was too ashamed to say, “I’m not ready. Let her daddy take her.” (But, I sure was thinking it!) He was busy, happily clicking away with his camera, completely at ease the onset of parenthood.
The moment of truth had come. They were going to hand her over to me, it was my duty to take her off their hands, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I was right. They laid her on my chest, all red and squalling. Although, I wanted to join in, instinctively I spoke to her like she was scared kitten.
Did she stop crying and look me right in the eye? You bet she did! I didn’t even know newborn babies could do that!
As our gazes locked, the rest of the world slipped away. I no longer noticed the doctors and their golf stories, or my husband and his camera. It was just me… and her.
So, I took advantage of that magical moment, and apologized for all the things I was going to do wrong in her life. Baby Davis (we didn’t even have a name for her yet) didn’t seem to mind, and promptly fell asleep.
That’s When I Became a Mom
That’s when I became a mom. I didn’t suddenly feel competent, or capable of handling motherhood (even though I had had 9 months to prepare for it). I didn’t know how to turn this little bundle into a happy, functioning adult, but despite all that Mommy Guilt and panic churning inside me, I knew I was going to find a way, or die trying. (Spoiler Alert: We’re both still here, thriving and loving.)
Since then, not only have I learned to tame my Mommy Guilt, but, now, I also teach other moms how to do the same, so they can enjoy motherhood, instead of dreading it.. If you’d like to kick your Mommy Guilt to the curb, join me, and the other moms who are reclaiming their lives, at one of my Mothers Days live interactive virtual events. If you follow my system, spending one day with me can change your life!
C’mon, isn’t it time to kick that guilt to the curb?
