Motherhood can be pretty stressful. (Well, duh!) A great strategy to combat the endless stress is to create a routine that acts as your go-to mini stress-disrupter. Call upon it when your gut tightens, or your jaw clenches, or when that inappropriate holler is trying to get out.
An Awesome Mom’s Question
Dear Deborah,
Every year it feels like I’m carrying more daily tension than the year before. If things keep going the way they are, I’m scared of what I’ll be like in 3 years. That’s when my kids will be teenagers, and the writing is on the wall. Don’t get me wrong, I got great kids. But some days, I just can’t take any more whining or squabbling. What should I do before it’s too late?
Awesome Advice for Stressed-Out Moms
Take a moment to imagine what your life is going to be like once you intentionally deal with your stress. Now, let’s make a plan to get you there.
Create a mini routine that will allow you to take it down a notch, to go to your happy place, if you will. That’s your stress-disrupter, and believe me, everyone should have one! Experiment around until you hit a combo that resonates with you.
Once you’ve settled on your go-to mini stress-disrupter, do whatever it takes to remember to implement it. (You can find ideas in my blog.)
Finally, make a perspective adjustment. Forgive yourself for your unwanted emotions. This process will empower you. Allow yourself to replace feelings of impatience with intentional calm by implementing your go-to mini stress-disrupter. And, don’t worry about the times you mess up. The good news is the more you practice, the faster the calm kicks in. Why? Because you’re training your body, mind and spirit to create a shot of happy hormones on demand.
Eventually, the time it takes for you to get mellow will shorten, and you’ll be able to command a mood change in the short time it takes to heave a long, heartfelt sigh. Nice, right?
I’m going to describe my personal go-to form of Guided Imagery – but not for you to do it yourself. I’m sharing this with you to demonstrate that there are many, many, many, many, many ways to do Guided Imagery. That’s my gift to you. Experiment around until you find the go-to mini stress-disrupter that suits you best. It could be a series of deep, calming breaths (highly recommended), or a round of loud, energetic applause (also, highly recommended), or even tuning out for a moment with headphones and a favorite song (of course, highly recommended). Here’s mine:
My Personal Guided Imagery
When I’m tense, or need to calm down or improve my focus, all I do is sit back, close my eyes, and imagine my husband bundled up in his winter coat. He holds the lapels open, and I slip my arms inside where it’s nice and warm. I wrap my arms around his torso, and he wraps his coat around me. We stand there like that, gently rocking, to and fro.
I feel the warmth inside his jacket.
I hear his heartbeat where my ear is pressed against his flannel shirt.
I automatically coordinate slower breathing with our gentle swaying, as I inhale his scent.
I visualize the love flowing between our hearts.
I feel safe and protected.
And when I’m ready to return to reality, I remind myself how lucky I am to have him in my life.
And then, I open my eyes.
Does my process perfectly match the guided imagery steps you find online?
Nope. But, this works for me, and here’s why.
- When you hug for more than 20 seconds, your body releases oxytocin (one of the feel-good hormones) into your bloodstream.
- In addition to that, when you visualize a past situation and it’s associated emotions, your body produces the related hormones on its own!
So, not only do I get a burst of happy hormones when I hug my honey,
but I also get it when I think about hugging him.
If that’s not a win-win situation, I don’t know what is!
What do you do currently when stress hits? You don’t have go-to mini stress-disrupter routine? That’s okay. But, before you click away from this post, take a moment to create one. As a matter of fact, why don’t you take another moment, and actually walk yourself through your experimental mini stress-disrupter routine, like, right now? You can modify it later. Go on. You deserve those happy hormones!
You got this, Momma!
Have fun with your kids today!
Happily,
Deborah
You can also find a lot more in-depth information on this topic in my books, How To Get Your Happy On, and , How To Keep Your Daughter From Slamming the Door.
About the Author
Are you overwhelmed or frustrated with your role as a parent? Deborah Ann Davis (B.S. in Science Education, M.Ed. in Supervision, and W.I.T.S Personal Trainer Certified) is a parenting coach and strategist who can help you sort things out.
Whether you’re looking to bring more positivity into your life, or you’re ready to seek the advice of a Parenting Coach, she’s eager to help you put happiness back into parenting.
Deborah has decades of experience dealing with teenagers – as a mother, and as an educator. Over the years, she has helped hundreds of families, using her expertise.
Learn how to improve your mother-daughter relationship today. Every minute you delay prolongs the isolation your child feels while disconnected from you. She’s waiting for you to figure it out, so why not skip the “trial and error” parenting route?
Don’t forget to book your free chat with Deborah. Sort things out together.
