Do you still have that How To Manual that came with your kid? No? Maybe I can help. This is one of the more popular inquiries I get when moms are questioning their parenting style.
An Awesome Mom’s Question About Crop Tops
Dear Deborah,
What should I let my daughter wear? Do most moms of daughters have boundaries on clothes for school? I’m specifically struggling with my daughter (12yo) about what I think is appropriate to wear to school, versus what she wants to wear. Any thoughts? Conversations to have? I don’t want to be super strict especially since today’s teen style is literally crop tops and leggings, but I am having a hard time getting on board.
Awesome Advice for Moms of Any Girls Who Wear Clothes
Yes! Awesome Moms maintain boundaries on school outfits.
Undeveloped student-age-brains make it difficult for our cherubs to produce logical decisions where fashion is concerned. Kids are too heavily influence by media pushing a sexier look, with bare bellies and painted-on pants. If the popular girls wear crop tops, she will feel dowdy next to them unless she, too, has a crop top. Notice that this scenario neglects what she personally likes, or feels comfortable with.
I’m willing to bet there’s a seriously good chance your brain is more developed than hers. 😉 Therefore, decisions that affect her well-being, her mental and emotional growth/development, and her education always should be completely up to you.
Sure, you can allow her to weigh in, but as the ranking adult in the room, the decision lies with YOU. She needs you to be in charge.
Having said that, there are areas that can be negotiated, if you use the right tool. One of my favorites is the Venn Diagram. I happily applied it to shopping for clothes with my daughter during her school years.
- One circle contains what I like on her.
- The other circle is what she wants to wear.
- Where the two circles intersect is what we buy, because both of us approve.
Of course, there are rules that accompany this technique. That way we know we’re on the same page.
- She has to try on everything I say.
- I have to let her try on anything she wants.
- There’s no arguing because, ultimately, we are both going to like what comes home with us.
Believe me, this one tool saved us a lot of headaches over crop tops and revealing clothing, and it can do the same for you! (Especially, if you are a mom of a girl who wears clothes!) Use the Venn Diagram in good health!
Have fun with your kids today!
Happily,
Deborah
Hey Moms!
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You can also find a lot more in-depth information on this topic in my book, How To Keep Your Daughter From Slamming the Door.
About the Author
Are you overwhelmed or frustrated with your role as a parent? Deborah Ann Davis (B.S. in Science Education, M.Ed. in Supervision, and W.I.T.S Personal Trainer Certified) is a parenting coach and strategist who can help you sort things out.
Whether you’re looking to bring more positivity into your life, or you’re ready to seek the advice of a Parenting Coach, she’s eager to help you put happiness back into parenting.
Deborah has helped hundreds of families over the years, using her experience as an educator and a mother. She has decades of experience dealing with teenagers – as a mother and an educator.
Learn how to improve your mother-daughter relationship today. Every minute you delay prolongs the isolation your child feels while disconnected from you. She’s waiting for you to figure it out, so why not skip the “trial and error” parenting route?
Don’t forget to book your free Clarity Consult.
